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Redefining Happiness

A recent NY Times article devoted itself to exploring what makes us happy. It began with a profile of a woman who had a $40,000 a year investment industry job, a 2br apartment, two cars and enough wedding china to feed two dozen people. But she was not happy, felt stuck on the “work-spend” treadmill and decided to step off. Inspired by a web site and books on living simply, she and her husband sold and gave away their cars and other things until they had just 100 items they really wanted.

Today, they live in a 400 square foot apartment in Portland. She is a web designer and freelance writer working from home and he is completing his doctorate in physiology. She owns four plates, three pair of shoes and two pots. Her $24,000 a year income covers their expenses and they bike everywhere. They paid off $30k and are debt free. They now have money to travel and contribute to their nephews and nieces educational funds. She works fewer hours and has more time to volunteer and be outdoors.

She says that “The idea that you need to go bigger to be happy is false.”. “I really believe that the acquisition of material goods doesn’t bring about happiness.”

While she and her husband made their move before the recession began, many  others are reconsidering what really brings them happiness in light of having less income or losing their jobs.

“We’re moving from a conspicuous consumption — which is ‘buy without regard’ — to a calculated consumption,” says Marshal Cohen, an analyst at the NPD Group, a retailing research and consulting firm.

People are saving more and spending less. Before the recession, saving rates were 1-2 percent. In June, they hit 6.4%.

These and other strategies people are adopting seem to be making them happier and that’s not surprising since living simply with low overhead makes life a lot easier than trying to keep up with the Jonses which was the norm for many years. Spending less means having more that in turn can mean more happiness.

Another aspect of this shift is the move from things to experiences. Rather than buying a new car, we seem to derive more pleasure from a vacation, going to a concert, riding our bikes, playing tennis or golf or hiking a local trail. There appears to be a far deeper connection to an experience than a another thing

In the past spending was a consumer sport and comparing what we had with others was a way of keeping score. But now we are reexamining our priorities and looking at what truly matters in life and for many, it turns out its relationships, doing soul satisfying work, using our talent to serve the world starting in our local communities and generally engaging the deeper more spiritual parts of us rather than the surface material world’s offerings that advertising tells us we need so badly.

We are coming to realize that we were sold a lifestyle that never really satisfied us and we feel betrayed. But the truth is we are responsible for our choices and so we are in the midst of re-framing our choices, seeing the world and our place in it anew and making better more soul informed choices.

It’s quite fitting that Eat, Pray and Love opens this week. The plot centers around a happily married woman who while trying to get pregnant realizes her life needs to go in a different direction, and after a painful divorce, takes off on a round-the-world journey.The film seems perfectly timed to help us explore our cultural angst and questioning of assumed values. After starring in this film, Julia Roberts began questioning her own values and she and her family now practice Hinduism.

According to a study from The National Institute on Aging, spending $20,000 on leisure activities was nearly equal to the happiness boost one get’s from a marriage and also increased interactions with others thus reducing loneliness. This appears to be a trend that many retailing professionals feel will be a permanent lifestyle change rather than a fad. Many of us have discovered that great memories have a lot more value than more stuff.

It comes down to re-prioritizing what we want from life and it is a sea change. No longer will we be enticed to buy things by fancy packaging and seductive ads. If it doesn’t satisfy our souls, we will simply look elsewhere.

There will always be the sad materially addicted wealthy few who will live with their ego driven status symbols while their souls wither. But increasing numbers of us are awakening from our material world slumber to discover the extraordinary value and satisfying energies of expanding relationships, creative expressions and the myriad experiences that bring us deeper levels of happiness. One advantage of experiences is that they can live again through our memories.

In a June report, the Boston Consulting Group said that recession anxiety had prompted a “back-to-basics movement,” with things like home and family increasing in importance over the last two years, while things like luxury and status have declined.

The phrase, :it’s the little things that matter” is a perfect way of expressing that buying big ticket items may not have lasting significance in our lives, That many smaller purchases that satisfy our deeper needs may be more meaningful and bring us more joy because we can get used to the home or car after a while. Psychologists call “hedonic adaption.”

One strategy to fight that is anticipation which psychologists have shown in creases happiness so purchasing a vacation ticket in advance beings us more happiness than buying it at the last minute because we can savor the idea.

What this means for business is that the will no longer be able to sell things but will have to promote the experience we will receive. Those businesses that adapt will remain viable and those who continue to try and persuade us to buy more stuff may find themselves holding going out of business sales.

Evidence of this shift can be seen in the success of Apple’s Genius Bars and classes, auto dealers 30 day test drives, clothing store’s personal shoppers, mall’s day care offerings, retailers use of Facebook and Twitter pages to offer customers discounts and invitations to special events but even these strategies may fail as more and more of us spend less and create more.

Happy – A Documentary Trailer from Wadi Rum Productions on Vimeo.

A filmmaker, Roko Belic, making Happy, a documentary on happiness, moved from San Francisco to Malibu to be closer to the ocean so he could surf three or four times a week. He moved to a trailer park and says it’s the first real community he has ever lived in. He is happier and believes the things we were trained to believe make us happy like a new car every few years and buying the latest fashions don’t.

HAPPY – How It All Began from Wadi Rum Productions on Vimeo.

If you like the idea of this film, you can help Roko complete it by joining me in making a contribution to this non-profit project by sending a donation to it’s fiscal sponsor CREATIVE VISIONS FOUNDATION, 3216 Nebraska Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90404 and writing “HAPPY documentary.” on your check in the memo section.

For more info on Roko and his film, click here to visit HAPPY.

Spontaneous Evolution and 2012

“I am writing a new book called, 2012: The Secrets Revealed. It will be out in 2013.”
— Swami Beyondananda

Everyone is talking about 2012, maybe because it’s already 2010 and 2011 is just around the corner. In any case, there seems to be a universal sense that some “apocalyptic” change is about to take place. On one hand, we have the Evangelicals talking about the “rapture,” and on the other we have scientists talking about the 6th great extinction. Interestingly, when we look at the original meaning of the word “apocalypse,” it meant “the lifting of the veils.”

A new book, Transforming Through 2012: Leading Perspectives on the New Global Paradigm, seeks to lift some of the veils on 2012 without waiting until 2013. The book is available both as a print book and a multi-media e-book, and contributors include Gregg Braden, Daniel Pinchbeck, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Jean Houston, and a chapter by Bruce Lipton and myself called, Spontaneous Evolution and 2012.

To find out more, to order, or to download four FREE chapters, please click here.

And, if you want to hear a half hour interview on the salient points of Spontaneous Evolution, please click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0D923bV-7Q

Change the World

  • Posted on July 23, 2010 in Catalysts  |  
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Small is Beautiful and Affordable

From one of my favorite daily news feeds, Daily Good, comes this great story which is part of Yahoo’s series, Second Act that looks at people’s life shifts. This article gives a whole new meaning to downsizing. This story has been viewed millions of times and certainly fits many people’s desire to live a simple life.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. –Confucius

Good News of the Day:
Jay Shafer lives in an 8-by-12 foot house. He built it from scratch. With no prior carpentry knowledge or experience. “I’m sure there are people out there who think I’m crazy for living so small, but living in this little house has allowed me to totally reinvent my life,” he says. With a desire to “escape the rat race,” the former grocery-store clerk’s intentions were simple: focus on the things he really wanted to do, and not on working for money. Now, he runs a company that builds small homes for others. “I never thought I’d be an entrepreneur in anything, but it’s my passion to design small houses,” he smiles. “It’s been really liberating.” [ more ]

Want to connect with Jay and explore building your own small home? Click here to visit his website and get started.

Chellis is Still in Recovery From Western Civilization

Years ago, I read a book that probed deeper than any I had read up until that time. I was just reminded of the book and it’s author Chellis Glendenning when I came upon an interview with her from 2004. I’m going to try and meet with Chellis next month when I visit friends in Santa Fe.

For now, here is the interview I discovered. I t reflects thinking that is beginning to awaken something in me that is another step toward my deepening feeling about my place in the world and connection with nature.

The interview was conducted by Aric McBay of In the Wake.

Chellis Glendinning is writer and a psychologist specializing in recovery from post-traumatic stress. She is the author of Waking Up in the Nuclear Age (1987); When Technology Wounds (1990); My Name Is Chellis and I’m in Recovery from Western Civilization (1994); Off the Map: An Expedition Deep into Empire and the Global Economy (1999, 2002); and Chiva: A Village Takes on the Global Heroin Trade (2005). Off the Map won the National Federation of Press Women 2000 Book Award. I interviewed her by telephone in January, 2005.

Aric McBay: Can you tell us about the community where you are living now?

Chellis Glendinning: I live in the village of Chimayó, New Mexico. It is one of a number of villages, a village system, that was established in the 1700′s and the 1800′s. It was Spanish culture meeting an indigenous situation. But the people themselves were only partly Spanish. A lot of them were Mexican natives, and a number of Moors and Jews. Also there was intermarrying with Native people here in the Rio Grande Valley. And then there were also various people who were fleeing Europe, so there were Greeks, Irish, and other kinds of folk. What we call the result is Chicano, but it’s a in fact a big mixture.

Each village has its own common lands that usually extend out from the village into the forest. So the setup is fairly archetypal the world around, and it’s a setup of sustainable living with hunting, fishing, and small agriculture. I’ve been living here for more than twelve years.

AM: Can you tell us a little bit about the changes that have been happening recently in your village in terms of encroachments by the dominant culture?

CG: There’s been a huge change. Such that the place is unrecognizable in a way because, in I’d say the last four years, around the turn of the millennium, the changes really started. And they all happened at once so it’s hard to point to one thing. Before this, the old way was very much being lived and assumed. The old philosophy was part and parcel of every breath.

Then all of a sudden, we get the big freeway coming up from Sante Fe, we get the WalMart, we get the cell phones, we get the satellite dish. For the longest time it seemed like just one person in the village had a computer, and all of a sudden, computers became common. Right now we’re just getting the Home Improvement, so when that thing opens it is going to be the end of traditional adobe architecture.

And also a lot of money that came in. So that there was new clothes, new cars, and everything changed.

To continue reading the Chellis Glendenning interview, click here.

And a 2008 video on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which is something most of uu have whether we want to admit it or not.